Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A Plan of Attack

So, for the last 2 weeks I've been saying that I know the extra refined sugar/carbohydrates in my diet are what is causing my weight gain and yoyoing at weigh ins but haven't done anything to change it. I've been looking at what I did my first week, food-wise, and came to a conclusion. The one thing I did that week that I haven't done since is really restrict my refined sugar/carb intake.

If I'm going to take this serious and get healthy then I have to eat defensively. Sounds kind of funny, huh? Defensive eating sounds like I'm fighting with my food. What I'm looking at it as is defensive eating is a way to eat so I can defend my body against the insulin resistance and diabetes and a host of other obesity related diseases. I'm not looking at this as a way to lose a ton of weight quickly, I'm looking at it as a way to take back control of my body and my fertility.

My basic plan of attack is that I am cutting out bread entirely, with the exception of very very special occasions, whole grain pasta, corn and brown rice are limited to once a week if that. I'm adding at least 2 servings of fruit and 3 servings of veggies (and mostly green veggies because they are anti-estrogens) per day. At least half my daily points are going to go towards lean protein sources, which is plenty of protein per day. I already take a multi-vitamin (with probiotics, digestive enzymes, and green food supplements added as an extra), folic acid, fish oil, and iron so I'm hoping these will help me out.

I am also cutting out all drinkable calories with the exception of grapefruit juice and decaffeinated hot tea (with 1 tablespoon of honey). I drink mostly water, so I'm not really worried about implementing this change though I wasn't strict on it before. I am allowing 1 cup of grapefruit juice per day because it is a natural cholesterol lowering product and also is a natural anti-estrogen. I can also get 1 serving of fruit in per day with just 8oz of 100% no sugar added grapefruit juice.

I did research on natural anti-estrogens after learning that clomid is an anti-estrogen. The main reason I was researching it is because I can't get in to see a new RE before I'll need to start a new round of clomid, so December is going to be a clomid free month, which is probably good for Mike because he's already going to be dealing with me going through sugar withdrawals so the extra hormones the clomid adds in would probably make him run for the hills. One of the best anti-estrogens that I came across is DIM, which I plan to get at the store this weekend, and 100% no sugar added grapefruit juice. They aren't as strong as clomid but I figure anything that gives my a boos in the fight against insulin resistance and are natural supplements then they can't hurt. I'm also adding a cinnamon supplement in for good measure.

I'm hoping this works and I can keep it up indefinitely. I just have to remember what the goal is and not let anything else interfere with it. Just have to remember to be strict with myself and not let myself slip with this plan while my parents are in town the next couple weeks.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Post-Thanksgiving

It's been colder than usual for this time of year in Vegas...it makes me feel like I'm at home. I had a nice walk this morning to my meeting and afterward to the bus. The funny thing is that everyone is complaining about how cold it is and how unusual it is for this time of year to be this cold. You'd think after 6 months of high desert heat people would be open to a change in the weather that means Christmas is in the air.

I did great Thanksgiving day, with the exception of having 3 brown dinner rolls, which was 2 over my set limit. I was a bit disappointed in dinner though because instead of the usual salad, which I'd planned to fill up on, the only veggies available were two I wouldn't touch if my life depended on it: green beans and collard greens. I have nothing against fresh collard greens but cooked they are as nasty as canned spinach (I love fresh spinach though). I even tried making them myself and Mike loved them but I couldn't even finish one bite. Plain and simple green beans and greens are just NASTY!

The rest of my week was however a sugar fest, which is why I gained 2.4lbs this week. I am disappointed in myself that I can't seem to say no to the sugar. I know I need to because of my insulin resistance but it's not easy to give up an addiction to it and sugar addiction is one of the most common and unrealized addictions in America. I am planning a new attack, I am going to make sure I get as many fruits and veggies in as possible each day in the hopes that I won't feel the need to feed the sugar addiction because I'm full. If I don't quite manage that, I'm going to go to sugar free alternatives, like sugar free fat free pudding, fruit, unsweetened apple sauce,etc.

I realize that I've been half-heartedly doing the WW thing in hopes that I can lose enough to get pregnant then quit and go back after I'd have the baby and get serious about it. I can't continue doing it if I'm not going to give it my all, and so I've decided while we still want to have a baby, I need to make sure that my efforts to get healthy are more important. How can I be a good mother when I don't care enough about myself to be healthy? I'm not saying we are going to stop trying to have a baby or even put it on hold, we are just going to focus on the getting healthy part and let the baby part happen when it happens.

I am, however, done for good with that crackpot reproductive endocrinologist we were going to. I'm hoping to get in to see another one this week but with the holidays a lot of them are fully scheduled...not sure why that is but maybe it's fate's way of telling us that we need to relax for the month and enjoy the holidays.

There is another plus to December, Mike found out that he has 48 hours of vacation that he has to use that they didn't include on his check stubs (they list vacation hours available and how many are left). At first we were kind of panicked because he has to use them by the end of the year but we decided to ask for pretty much 4 days weekends every week of December except the last week since he New Year's eve is mandatory even if it's his scheduled day off. So hopefully Mike will have those 4 day weekends if it works out right.

It's time to roll out those Christmas movies and decorations...I'm ready, or almost, are you?

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Day Before Turkey Day

It's one day before Thanksgiving and I'm trying to figure out what to take to my in-law's house for dinner. Traditionally, at my family's Thanksgiving we'd have the following:

  • Turkey (usually about 14lbs) & a Ham
  • Mashed potatoes
  • Homemade Sausage & Sourdough Stuffing
  • Gibblet gravy
  • Orange jello with shredded pineapple & carrots
  • Salad (iceburg lettuce, carrots, raddicio lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers and choice of dressing)
  • Sweet corn
  • Oven-browned dinner rolls
  • 2-3 of each Pumpkin pie and Lemon Meringue pie
My problem is that Mike's family's Thanksgiving they have a totally different spread. His parents are always saying that they spend so much money on the Thanksgiving dinner and no one is willing to contribute. I always ask every time we go to his parent's house for dinner if they want us to bring anything and they always say the same thing: soda. Two years in a row, Mike and I contributed the turkey because we each got a free one from where we worked. I have no idea if anyone will even eat what I bring especially if they've never had it before. This is what his family makes:
  • Turkey (not sure what size) & a Pork Rib roast
  • Salad
  • Baked mac & cheese
  • Cranberries
  • Stuffing (usually burnt on top and edges)
  • Mashed Potatoes
  • Sweet Potatoes (not traditional made but with Jack Daniels)
  • Pumpkin Cheesecake 
  • Pumpkin Pie
  • Peach Cobbler (made by his older sister)
  • Apple Pie
There's not much to work with there. I told Mike I honestly wish his parents would just divide it up amongst them, us, and his oldest sister and say who is bringing what then trade off each year on who buys the turkey. It would be a lot less hassle and a lot less guess work.
This is one of the reasons I dread the holidays at times.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

It's the Weekend Before Thanksgiving

Okay, I went to my meeting and lost 1.4 of the 1.8 pounds that I gained last week. Last week was a very stressful week, and though I did good with my points on the program, I did eat a lot of things that were high in sodium. I also got a lot more active last week than usual. I'm not making excuses for gaining weight last week, but I do know what I did that made the gain happen.

I'm not telling a lot of people that I'm doing WW again because I don't want to have to deal with being hassled by certain family members because of my healthy choices. I'm just doing it, watching my portion sizes, and adding everything up in my head as I go. If any of them happen to read it on here, then that's fine but I won't stand for the insulting comments about the way Mike and I choose to eat. I don't believe Thanksgiving will be a problem because I can serve myself and Mike's family doesn't really say much about how much or how little any of us eat.

As far as the trying to conceive thing goes, we don't have anything to report. Anything to report means as of when I wrote this we are not pregnant. I will say this, other than to my wonderful friends on Baby Center, I will only be posting the big news on this blog when we do finally conceive, so it benefits you to check this blog once in awhile. Before you ask, the main reason for the discretion regarding when we do find out we are expecting is because of the whole chromosomal issue and we have to wait until we are 12 weeks before we find out if that child will be healthy enough to make it to term.

So have a happy and healthy Thanksgiving and remember, the turkey is supposed to be stuffed, not you. :o)

Friday, November 12, 2010

Utter Frustration

I am so utterly frustrated with this whole trying to conceive process. I know that there's only a 20% chance each month that it will happen and that really isn't what is so frustrating. What is frustrating me is that since that last horrible appointment with the RE I have been tracking my basal body temperature like he requested.

Since I have been doing that I keep watching my chart everyday hoping to see the tell tale signs that the clomid did its job this month. One of the ladies in an online group I belong to gave me a suggestion today and after I followed it my chart shows ovulation. I just don't know if it's accurate and that's more than frustrating.

I will know for sure after I go in for my P4 bloodwork on Sunday but that doesn't do anything for me now. My RE is also a jerk because even though he has the results on if the clomid worked this time or not, he won't have his nurse call and tell me if I need to come in, he just expects me to make an appointment 11 days afterwards. I'm sorry but any RE worth his salt will have his nurse call and tell the patient whether the results showed ovulation or not and if they don't get a positive pregnancy test they need to come in on cycle day 35.

Why is it we must fight our bodies for what we really want?

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A Bit of News

Okay, after my last visit with the RE I was really pissed off. I mean extremely pissed to have an obese male doctor telling me that I really didn't want to have a baby because I didn't lose any weight between my first appointment in July and that second appointment at the beginning of October. He did up my dose of clomid to 100 mgs and basically warned me that if he has to go up to 150 mgs he won't do it for more than one cycle. I mean how dare that man say I don't want children. If I didn't want children, I wouldn't be willing to try to get pregnant again considering there's a 50/50 chance we could lose another baby. It's a risk I'm willing to accept to get what I want. A doctor has no right to tell a woman that she doesn't want children when she's had a miscarriage and had to bury one child.

So after talking it over with Mike, we decided that despite my resolve to teach myself healthy eating habits, I wasn't holding myself accountable for what I was eating. Mike had been encouraging me to join Weight Watchers again, even after I swore 3 years ago that I wouldn't go back because my leader was not only not motivating but accused me of cheating/not journaling all of my food choices because I was yo-yoing every week. But I did it.

I decided the best thing to do was go to the Saturday 7am meeting time that we originally did when I started WW 7 years ago with my mom, my sister-in-law, and my grandma. I have very good memories of going to WW then but this time, I'm doing it for myself not because everyone else wanted me to go with them. My leader, I won't name any names, is kind of goofy. I'm also not going to say what my starting weight was.

Anyhow, the first week was hard because I was having trouble finishing all of my points. I really stuck with it and journaled everything, and we even had breakfast out twice. I weighed in the first week and lost 5.4 pounds. The second week, was even harder because I dropped a point, so I had to readjust everything. It wasn't so much that it was hard to adjust, it was more that it was the week after Halloween and I wanted to have sweets and mixing them in with balanced meals was difficult. I weighed in this past Saturday and lost another 2.6 pounds. So, after two weeks I am 1 pound from getting my 10 pound ribbon, which I am planning to get at my next weigh-in.

I have been getting quite a bit more active too. I've been playing tennis on the wii for at least a half hour and another hour minimum of bowling, golf, and archery. I walked about 2 miles from the bus stop off my first bus to my meeting instead of waiting for the bus, which didn't even come by the entire time I was walking. This morning I took a 40 minute walk from our apartment down to CVS which is about a mile and a half away.

I am excited about the weight loss but at the same time, I'm really going for the accountability factor more than anything else. This way I can continue teaching myself to choose healthier options and have something to keep me on the straight and narrow. I will say this, when we have gone to fast food restaurants I have been choosing healthier options and if I get a drink with my food, I get water instead of soda or soft drinks. I have been drinking a lot of water, but I figure the more water I drink the easier it is not to have those high point snacks.