Week 1 Down

After hearing seeing a commercial about a free start-up kit and about the success of a friend on the Atkins program, I decided to check out the website. I've heard over the last few years that it's a similar weight loss program to what doctors recommend for women with PCOS to lose weight, and after a lot of research my views on Atkins changed. When the low-carb craze began to really take hold again about 8 years ago, I was skeptical because I only knew what bad things I'd heard about it.

I'd heard that you only eat fat-laden meats, tons of cheese, lots of protein, and little to no carbs. Boy, was I misinformed. I realize now after researching the diet that it's the exact same thing as what most popular diet programs try to do, they want to cut out the refined sugar. If you actually find out what the program is all about without just jumping in and only eating meat and cheese, then you'll know that the majority of the 20 net carbs they want you to eat during induction are supposed to be veggies. Yes, you can load up on all the meat and cheese you want because they have very few carbs, but the focus of the plan is really on getting people to eat 12-15 net carbs per day of veggies, which means eating healthy.

I admit, that after years of eating lean protein, I am still trying to get my brain around being able to eat full fat cheese and other dairy products as well as fatty cuts of meat. I am proud to say that I haven't cheated on the plan and had anything with tons of refined sugar. I am definitely a sugarholic but I've fought the cravings for a week and am still going strong. I am also proud to say that in 7 days I've lost 8.6lbs and am very happy with those results. It's also been difficult with Mike and my mom because they are constantly trying to get me to eat candy or something because they "forget" that I'm on 20 net carbs per day.

I also have realized just how much I hate veggies since I started Atkins. There are core veggies that I like (which of course seem to be the highest in net carbs) and others that I can tolerate but just not eat on a regular basis, and some that make me gag even thinking about eating. I've never liked veggies. I am trying to plan better and find more ways to diversify my palate when it comes to veggies. I am determined to get more veggies into my diet because I have noticed the last few days when I wasn't eating hardly any veggies that my weight loss slowed. I understand why but still can't quite make myself eat one more salad.

On the exercise front, Mike and I have been walking at least 3-4 days a week. It's not as much as I'd like but there are days where we just don't seem to have the time or the weather just doesn't allow it. Usually when the weather keeps us in, I try to do a workout video but it doesn't always happen because there are days that I am just not motivated to do it. I know logically the more exercise I can get in each day, the faster the weight will drop off.

I have also experienced a side effect that I wasn't aware of...because of the drastic change in my carb intake, it kind of shocked my thyroid/hormones into a reaction. At first I was a bit concerned because it moved my cycle up by a week, but after some online research I found that this is quite common during induction on Atkins. Now, I don't exactly enjoy this side effect coming up a week early, but I'm looking at it as a positive sign.

We Have Arrived!!!

I know I'm a week late in posting this but I just now got a wifi router so I could use internet on my laptop. We left earlier than expected on April 21st, partly because neither of us could sleep and partly because we only had 2 hours between when we finished loading the car and when we were supposed to be up and ready to go. We'd planned to leave at 4am but instead left my sister & BIL's apartment at 2am and left the gas station after topping off our tank at 2:30am.

We had a short stop in Boulder City because Mike forgot he's an adult (he knows I'm kidding) and didn't go to the bathroom before we left. Our first gas stop of the day was a little before Kingman, AZ and it was a freezing cold, windy welcome. We had to dig out sweatshirts because we didn't even consider that the weather might be like 55 degrees there. We stopped about 3 more times for gas and to take our furbaby Ruby out to stretch her legs.

We got to Amarillo, TX a little later than we expected at almost 7:30pm. We checked into the motel, showered, then got something to eat and were in bed by 9:30pm central time. We woke up at about 1:15am and decided rather than waiting for the complimentary breakfast at 6am that we'd just head out again. It was cool and sprinkling rain but by the time we got gas and got out of Amarillo it had stopped. Then, when we hit the Oklahoma border we hit about 100 miles of dense fog.

Mike decided to drive most of the way that day though we got to Vinidy, OK and he needed a break because he was tired, so I took over for about an hour before we hit Missouri and then I could barely keep my eyes open. We decided to stop for lunch hoping it would wake us up, and it did. Mike finished driving the rest of the way and we arrived in Smithton at my brother's house just in time for the tornado warnings. Poor Ruby didn't know what to think because she got chained up in the yard first then put in my brother's utility room while we went to the storm shelter where we stayed for about 2 hours.

I do have to say that Ruby did much better than we expected. Normally, when we took her in the car before she whined the entire time but she just sat there staring out the window at the scenery and didn't whine unless she had to go to the bathroom.

We are relieved to be here and that the move is finally over. Now the job hunt for Mike begins and he already has a phone interview set up for the 3rd of May with SMS Children's Hospital. Hopefully, he'll get a few more set up once we update the address on his applications with a few places.

A Week and a Half To Go!!!

First, I have to vent a little. I understand why family doesn't want us to go and that they aren't going to be shy about letting us know their feelings on it. I think Mike's mom was trying to manipulate us into staying by FINALLY giving us a little bit of information on his real dad's family when we went for a visit two weeks ago. Mike hadn't seen his real dad since he was 3 years old though he talked to him twice since then (he's almost 28 now).

I think she was hoping that if we found his dad's family, we wouldn't leave since we'd just met them and had so much time to catch up on with them. I hate to point out the obvious, but family is family whether they are near or far. Family is supposed to want their loved ones to be happy even if that means they aren't in the same city. I will say this plainly: Mike and I are not happy in Las Vegas and have not been happy living here for a very long time. Why should we live somewhere we are miserable just to make our family happy?

Second, though Mike wasn't sure about it, I contacted his cousin, Mari, and we arranged to surprise that side of the family at her daughter's birthday party. Mike knew he had a half-sister, Christina, but also discovered he has another sister, Judy, while we were there. There was some disappointment though because Mike was kind of hoping he'd get to get in contact with his dad, and his cousin and one of his many aunts told us his dad had died from a heart attack in July last year. It was a little overwhelming to say the least because they are all fluent in English and Spanish and expected him to be, too, but he only speaks English. That and the fact that there were about 50 family members there, and we still can't remember all their names.

I told his sister at the party that I was happy he finally got to know that side because I know he really wanted to find them but he's the kind that unless the information is volunteered by his mom, he's not going to risk possibly making her angry by asking. The other thing was that he seemed so much a part of them while his other dad's family obviously loves him but he always seems separate from them whenever they get together.

Third and last, we are getting our room organized and ready to move. I haven't been working as much as I should, but we've been saving everything I earn for our move for extra spending money. We are going to be so busy getting ready to move, looking for a job for Mike, and me working to be sure we have enough money to make the move over the next week I don't know when we are going to sleep. Plus, we have plans with his aunt and cousins as well as his Rideout sisters this Saturday...it's beginning to become so real.

Don't know when I'm going to have a chance to update this again, so keep us in your prayers that we have a safe trip across the country. We are hoping that this move will provide us with new opportunities that we aren't able to get in Vegas. We are hoping that this move will also help us get back on our feet and maybe give us a jump on starting our family.

One Month to Go

This week hasn't been the best but not the worst either. Nothing really happened, it's just been more or less boring. I guess I'm anxious to get this move and everything behind us.

We did hear from the hospital again in Omaha, so Mike is going to call tomorrow and hopefully get some answers. I told him that if they called after 2 weeks (since the first call), they probably really are interested in him. He has me worried a bit because he seems so despondent about the possibility of moving to Omaha. He knows that we have to go where he's going to have a job, but he just doesn't like the idea of Omaha at all. He's hoping that we are moving back to my hometown instead because he knows there are things that he wants to do there, and we have no clue what would be awaiting us in Omaha.

Neither of us are really excited about Omaha, but I'm looking at it as, if it's where we are meant to be then that's where it will be. I'm not exactly excited about moving home, either, mostly because I don't feel like that's home anymore and feel like somewhere else between here and there is going to be the home we've been looking for.

I did have a strange dream the other day. I dreamed that we were moving into my great grandma's old house. A cousin bought the house shortly before my great grandma died but it's been sold, and I haven't been to her house for years. I was looking at houses on Craigslist the next day and one of the houses I looked at was almost the mirror image of her house except it didn't have a garage. Kinda creepy and maybe prophetic.

On the weight loss front, this week was a bust...I have the feeling it's because I've been off the NPC for 2 weeks. While I was using it for 21 days each cycle, I was having consistent weight loss, and now that I changed it to the last 14 days of the cycle, I start gaining again. I'm sure there are other factors involved but we'll see next weigh in.

Official Moving Date

It's official, we are moving on April 20th, the Thursday before Easter. We talked to Mike's parents this afternoon and told them we were moving. They took it a lot better than we were expecting. So, it is officially a countdown to our move.

I know that day is going to be hard for Mike because he's only ever been away from his family once and that was for JobCorps up in Reno. I think once we are officially on our way, he's going to be even more excited than he is now.

On the plus side...I weighed in 2 days earlier than usual and have lost 2 pounds this week. I think the combo of progesterone cream and acknowledging and meditating my stress away is really what's doing it.

Now, we have to get a bigger storage unit, move almost all of our stuff into it and it's going to stay here for a year until we come back next year to visit his family with my parents and then we are going to get a uhaul truck and drive it back to wherever we are living then.

We also have been talking about what we are going to do for Mike's work. We are thinking about starting a green home deep-cleaning business for him. There are some maid services and some carpet/floor cleaning businesses but not any that combine the two in the area. I know enough people there that we can probably get some business just through word of mouth and with the 2 of us doing it. We would both probably have to work for the business until we find out where it's going or if it's going anywhere, but that's doable. We just would have to come up with the money for the business licenses and equipment.

At least with our own business, if it's even moderately successful, then we don't have to worry about Mike having work and I can still do my freelancing there, so we'll have money coming in.

Weekly Update 3/5/11

Okay, a few things happened this week that are very promising. We bought a car, a 1995 volvo 960. It's used but for the price and quality, we couldn't turn it down because even the purchase price and minor things that have to be fixed before we can license it aren't going to cost more than the $2000 we budgeted for buying a car.

The second thing is that my fertility shutdown is going very well, but because of our financial situation, I am only going to do it for 2 cycles instead of 3. So, beginning the next cycle, I'm only going to be doing the progesterone cream from CD14-CD27. I have noticed a lot of positive changes with it, one of those being that I am recognizing when I am stressed and am taking time to meditate the stress away instead of bottling it inside.

The last is that, despite not really following any eating program and only eating when I'm hungry, I've managed to lose weight the last two weeks. I attribute this partly to the progesterone cream because it's fighting the estrogen dominance which makes the weight creep up or just stubbornly stay on. Progesterone also helps women lose weight, that's why a lot of plus size women lose weight when they get pg if they were estrogen dominant before pg.

A Brand New Life

I know I've been going on and on about how much we want to move out of Vegas and how we can't wait to do it. We both have an idealized outlook on how we want our lives to be and it's just not possible in Vegas. The problem is, we aren't too sure that it's possible in Illinois where my family is either.

What we really want is to have a place that is ours. Not necessarily that we don't have a support system there but that they aren't as demanding of our time and as critical of our choices. We want to be able to make our decisions and not have someone there telling us we're making a mistake before we have a chance to really make a decision. Sounding boards are fine but trying to make yourself so important in the decision making process that we can't make a decision without having to hear unnecessary opinions is far from what we need.

Basically, what it comes down to is both Mike and I dislike being dictated to, being told what we can and can't do, what we can and can't spend our money on, and always being asked where we are going when we go somewhere. We are adults, not teenagers. We are married, not sneaking around. We have made our own financial and life decisions together for years and don't need the interference of others who so generously think we need their opinions to make the right decisions.

We both love our families but they are always in the forefront of things and have high expectations that have no basis on what we want. I moved to Vegas because I felt burdened by the expectations of my family. They didn't want for me what I wanted, and here it's the same for Mike. When his family does get involved in our day-to-day life, their expectations for us aren't what we want. I don't see how my family will be able to understand why I love my job because my mom already believes that my job is unstable and temporary even though I've done this for over 2 years. I can see them pushing Mike in the wrong way to be out looking for a job. They don't know what motivates him because they don't really know him, so they need to leave that up to the 2 of us.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm looking at this move as a way to start a brand new life together away from the influences and bad advice. We need to live somewhere neutral, so that it doesn't appear we are choosing one family over the other and so that we don't have to deal with interference. I want to live somewhere that is about halfway between both families so that it's not so far to get to either of them and they can't just show up.

I want to live somewhere where we can be confident we made the right decision and have no one telling us what we are doing is wrong. We have certain ideals that we want to live by and definitely can't do it in Vegas, and it trying to live that way when it's a way of life your family doesn't understand just makes it that much more difficult when they are in close proximity. For instance, we have done a lot of research on parenting, pregnancy, and childbirth and want to practice peaceful parenting. Many of the practices involved in peaceful parenting, neither of our families understand nor would be supportive of. Exclusive breastfeeding, elimination communication instead of diapers, lotus births, not circumcising any sons we might have...even trying to explain the choices and the reasoning behind them causes arguments.

When it comes right down to it, Mike and I are very simple people. We crave a simple, low key lifestyle. Money doesn't motivate us, I won't say we don't need it, but we aren't a couple who can be bought for the highest dollar. We want wide open spaces, fresh air, and to see the changes the four seasons bring each year. I guess you could say, the lifestyle that would fit us best is a natural lifestyle. We want things that most people don't consider mainstream because of modern technology.

We want to buy about 10 or so acres of land somewhere and build an underground house. I don't mean dirt floors and walls, and bugs everywhere. I mean, digging 14 ft down and about 1200 sq ft, and shoring it up and waterproofing it the same way you would a basement. It would have above ground windows in every room, a wood-burning fireplace, wind & solar power, and a well tapped to provide water.

It sounds far-fetched and idealistic to say the least, but by utilizing natural energy and water sources we would save money on that and by living 6 or more feet underground, the house would maintain the same temperature as the earth, which is about 55 to 60 degrees year around. Yes, that's cold, so even during the summer using the fireplaces for heat would be necessary. During the winter, it would be cold yes, but unlike a house on top of land that has to be kept warm because it constantly cools to the outside temperature, an underground house is insulated by the earth, so the temperature remains constant even with heat from a fireplace or wood stove.

We want to have an organic greenhouse too, so we can grow our own fruits and vegetables. The problem with all of this is that this is our dream, not reality. This dream will probably never come true because we will probably never have the money to do it, but this is the kind of lifestyle we want. It would be a brand new life and a way of life we would both be proud to raise our future children in.

I'm also going to say something about what I want to do with the rest of my life. For so long I've wanted to be a writer, and do consider myself to be one, but I want more. I want to educate women on the choices they have before, during, and after pregnancy. After Mike gets a new job, and we can afford it, I am going to start taking classes on becoming a midwife and doula. I don't so much want to deliver babies as I want to educate parents and provide a safe haven for women like myself who are TTC or pregnant and have been lectured repeatedly about their weight by doctors. I want to open a conception to post partum education center for parents-to-be, so they can raise their babies in a way they decide is best, not in the way they've seen others do because they don't know there are other options.