A Brand New Life

I know I've been going on and on about how much we want to move out of Vegas and how we can't wait to do it. We both have an idealized outlook on how we want our lives to be and it's just not possible in Vegas. The problem is, we aren't too sure that it's possible in Illinois where my family is either.

What we really want is to have a place that is ours. Not necessarily that we don't have a support system there but that they aren't as demanding of our time and as critical of our choices. We want to be able to make our decisions and not have someone there telling us we're making a mistake before we have a chance to really make a decision. Sounding boards are fine but trying to make yourself so important in the decision making process that we can't make a decision without having to hear unnecessary opinions is far from what we need.

Basically, what it comes down to is both Mike and I dislike being dictated to, being told what we can and can't do, what we can and can't spend our money on, and always being asked where we are going when we go somewhere. We are adults, not teenagers. We are married, not sneaking around. We have made our own financial and life decisions together for years and don't need the interference of others who so generously think we need their opinions to make the right decisions.

We both love our families but they are always in the forefront of things and have high expectations that have no basis on what we want. I moved to Vegas because I felt burdened by the expectations of my family. They didn't want for me what I wanted, and here it's the same for Mike. When his family does get involved in our day-to-day life, their expectations for us aren't what we want. I don't see how my family will be able to understand why I love my job because my mom already believes that my job is unstable and temporary even though I've done this for over 2 years. I can see them pushing Mike in the wrong way to be out looking for a job. They don't know what motivates him because they don't really know him, so they need to leave that up to the 2 of us.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm looking at this move as a way to start a brand new life together away from the influences and bad advice. We need to live somewhere neutral, so that it doesn't appear we are choosing one family over the other and so that we don't have to deal with interference. I want to live somewhere that is about halfway between both families so that it's not so far to get to either of them and they can't just show up.

I want to live somewhere where we can be confident we made the right decision and have no one telling us what we are doing is wrong. We have certain ideals that we want to live by and definitely can't do it in Vegas, and it trying to live that way when it's a way of life your family doesn't understand just makes it that much more difficult when they are in close proximity. For instance, we have done a lot of research on parenting, pregnancy, and childbirth and want to practice peaceful parenting. Many of the practices involved in peaceful parenting, neither of our families understand nor would be supportive of. Exclusive breastfeeding, elimination communication instead of diapers, lotus births, not circumcising any sons we might have...even trying to explain the choices and the reasoning behind them causes arguments.

When it comes right down to it, Mike and I are very simple people. We crave a simple, low key lifestyle. Money doesn't motivate us, I won't say we don't need it, but we aren't a couple who can be bought for the highest dollar. We want wide open spaces, fresh air, and to see the changes the four seasons bring each year. I guess you could say, the lifestyle that would fit us best is a natural lifestyle. We want things that most people don't consider mainstream because of modern technology.

We want to buy about 10 or so acres of land somewhere and build an underground house. I don't mean dirt floors and walls, and bugs everywhere. I mean, digging 14 ft down and about 1200 sq ft, and shoring it up and waterproofing it the same way you would a basement. It would have above ground windows in every room, a wood-burning fireplace, wind & solar power, and a well tapped to provide water.

It sounds far-fetched and idealistic to say the least, but by utilizing natural energy and water sources we would save money on that and by living 6 or more feet underground, the house would maintain the same temperature as the earth, which is about 55 to 60 degrees year around. Yes, that's cold, so even during the summer using the fireplaces for heat would be necessary. During the winter, it would be cold yes, but unlike a house on top of land that has to be kept warm because it constantly cools to the outside temperature, an underground house is insulated by the earth, so the temperature remains constant even with heat from a fireplace or wood stove.

We want to have an organic greenhouse too, so we can grow our own fruits and vegetables. The problem with all of this is that this is our dream, not reality. This dream will probably never come true because we will probably never have the money to do it, but this is the kind of lifestyle we want. It would be a brand new life and a way of life we would both be proud to raise our future children in.

I'm also going to say something about what I want to do with the rest of my life. For so long I've wanted to be a writer, and do consider myself to be one, but I want more. I want to educate women on the choices they have before, during, and after pregnancy. After Mike gets a new job, and we can afford it, I am going to start taking classes on becoming a midwife and doula. I don't so much want to deliver babies as I want to educate parents and provide a safe haven for women like myself who are TTC or pregnant and have been lectured repeatedly about their weight by doctors. I want to open a conception to post partum education center for parents-to-be, so they can raise their babies in a way they decide is best, not in the way they've seen others do because they don't know there are other options.